College discussion classes are supposed to be easy A’s, right? Well, they can be. But if you’re like me and HATE discussion classes, they can be a nightmare!
I’ve decided to try something new. I’m going to put together a 3-part series of short posts on discussion-based classes in college.
If you’re stuck in a miserable discussion-based class, I’m sure you could use a good laugh (if not at my satire, then at my attempt). So I’m going to start this off on a humorous note, then get more serious in the coming posts. Here are the 9 types of students you’ll meet in discussion-based classes.
1. The Sleeper
The sleeper’s game plan is to participate a lot in the first half of class, then sleep through the second.
The sleeper comes to class prepared. They won’t stop raising their hand until the professor says something like okay, you’ve said enough for the day, let’s get some new hands. To them, that’s the signal that they’ve earned their right to sleep. Don’t expect to hear from the sleeper again until class is over.
2. The Arguer
The arguer is easy to spot because they love to argue. These students are often (but not always) pre-law. The arguer’s sole purpose in participating is to prove they’re right. Getting into it with an arguer isn’t worth it. No matter what you do or say, they’ll never back down.
The arguer will go so far as to bring a list of 75 reasons why they were right to the next class if you don’t concede. They usually do know what they’re talking about. But in the few cases when they’re wrong, don’t expect them to admit it. Just spare the hassle and don’t engage with them!
3. The Suck-up
The suck-up’s game plan is simple: win the professor’s favor any way possible besides actually putting work into the class.
Sometimes suck-ups are blatant about their strategy, and employ obvious flattery. But the smarter suck-ups are more subtle. Luckily, there’s a simple way to spot a subtle suck-up.
Whenever someone in your class voices a different opinion than your professor, watch the suck-up. The suck-up’s hand will shoot up to defend the professor so fast it’ll make your head spin. While the suck-up may earn brownie points during class discussions, they almost always choke on the papers and group projects. If they could get the job done on merit, they wouldn’t be suck-ups in the first place, right?
4. The Brainiac
No matter how smart and accomplished you think you are, the class brainiac will make you question what you’re doing with your life.
Here’s how you can recognize the brainiac. He or she usually has at least 3 majors, has already published 6 papers, and is somehow on a first-name basis with the ambassador to Guatemala. If the professor was ever late to class, the brainiac could step in and lead the discussion without breaking a sweat. And you’d probably learn more from them than your teacher…
You can expect the brainiac to be held to a different standard. If the brainiac skips class, your professor won’t care. But if anyone else does...it’s a different story. But you’re almost okay with that because you know the brainiac probably missed class because they were organizing a humanitarian mission for the global nonprofit they run in their spare time.
5. The Over-sharer
You’ll get to know who the over-sharer is fast.
The over-sharer will frequently tell stories that include intimate details from their personal lives that make everyone’s stomach churn. Additionally, they’ll shamelessly broadcast how much of a hot mess they are. Yes—we get it. You’ve got problems going on. We all feel terrible. But some things are better left unsaid in the classroom.
6. The Bluffer
The bluffer will spend about 5 minutes total on the readings, then shamelessly participate in discussions as if they know what they’re talking about.
While the bluffer frequently says things that are incorrect, no one ever calls them out because the bluffer speaks with such confidence and authority. The bluffer is often charming, charismatic, and likable. They’re fun to have around. But never play poker against them.
7. The Summarizer
The summarizer is a master at making it seem like they’re contributing to the discussions. But in reality, all the summarizer ever does is restate others’ thoughts.
You can always tell a summarizer by the way they wait until someone else finishes talking only to say something like: so it sounds like you’re saying x, y, z…without adding anything new. But believe it or not, people rarely catch on.8. The No-Show
There’s always that one person who comes to the first few discussions, but then never comes back.
The first time the no-show is absent, no one thinks anything of it when the professor takes role and the no-show doesn’t respond. At the 13th missed lecture in a row, it’s become a class joke when the professor still calls their name. Everyone knows by this point that the no-show is never coming back.
What no one knows though is that the no-show dropped the class back in the third week because they were mad that someone snickered at them for saying something naive. They just never bothered to let the professor know.
9. The Silent student
The silent student is that person you didn’t even know was in your class until you were assigned to work with them for a group project.
Even though the professor made it clear on day 1 that a big part of your grade is participation, the silent student still never participates in discussions. This is usually because they find the teacher intimidating, or because they’re just plain shy. Whatever the reason, the silent student usually excels in non-discussion based classes. This makes them a great partner to have during group work.
What's Next?
Hopefully reading this post helped relieve some of the agony of your discussion-based class! Remember that two more posts are coming, in which I’ll show you some winning strategies to make sure you get the A!
